
Sometimes anger just isn’t a strong enough word for the emotion you feel when your Ex has hurt you in some way. And, there’s nothing like a significant betrayal to turn indifference to hate. You may have so much anger that it feels completely unmanageable and you just want relief.
Here’s 3 important questions about anger:
What's the purpose of anger?
How can I make good use of it?
How can I manage the extreme anger that I’m feeling in this divorce process?
The Energy of Anger
It’s so common for anyone going through a divorce to feel that things are not fair. For example, when your Ex lies, or hides assets, or spends money on fancy big boy toys while you are just making enough to buy the groceries.
The energy of anger can really give you the push you need to set important limits, push back, or leave a dangerous situation. It can also provide the energy you need to take care of yourself and to attend to the wounds that have built up over the time when you didn’t set those important limits.
John Rifkin in his book "The Healing Power of Anger" says that anger is a source of personal power and that all problems, as well as all anger, begin with an injury. Anger is the natural healing energy that the body generates in order to attend to the injury.
The energy of anger is meant to empower us to solve problems and heal our injuries.
Mature and immature anger
Most of us were not taught to use anger in positive ways. Hello immature tantrums…yes, even as adults.
The anger we experience during divorce is especially difficult, but maturing in anger and using it effectively can help us take a focused and more assertive stance instead of disintegrating into a seething ball.
Using anger effectively can help you become less fearful, more trusting and more easily able to recognize the choices in front of you.
The goal of healthy anger is to protect you and the ones you care about. It’s not about revenge.
Don’t sit with your anger, work on it.
In my Beyond Divorce Breakthrough program, we’ll get deep on the answers to those 3 big questions, and you’ll get clear on how to use your anger in ways that help you, not hinder you.
I’d love you to join the program. Click here to find out more.
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