For a while now I’ve been trying a new approach to starting my day. I’ve been trying to stop reading my emails and checking my socials before I get out of bed in the morning.
At first I thought I was doing this to feel less stressed as I started my day (emails make me anxious and socials give me fomo) . But I’m learning that it’s also about how I want to be present with my rest, and how I want to mentally feel (hint: fresh) as I start my day.
I don’t want to waste all that good sleep only to just start loading my brain with news, messages, trash, and feelings of FOMO and need (or more accurately, want).
I was going so well for a couple of months but I’m discovering that building a habit around resisting my email and socials on waking up in the morning is going to take some work.
So let’s take a closer look at this idea of habits. Why is it hard to stick with actions we want to take that we know will help us? Why are good habits so hard to form?
As the good folks at Better Up say, our habits shape who we are. The thing is, forming positive habits isn’t always easy. They take work.
To better understand how we form habits Better Up explains there’s a thing called a habit loop and it goes something like this:
Trigger >> your mind looks for a way you can get a reward and that leads to a craving.
Craving >> cravings are the motivation or force you need to take an action but you’re not craving the habit, you’re actually craving the way you feel after you do it.
Response >>that' the habit we form . Responding depends on how motivated we are and how challenging it is to perform that behavior.
Reward >> what you get when you perform the habit.
So, the trigger notices the reward, the craving wants the reward, and the response obtains the reward.
Well that’s fine if it’s a healthy, helpful habit. But what if it’s not?
Here’s 7 steps the folks at Better Up suggest you can take to build healthy habits:
Eliminate triggers - what are the places, people or activities that you link to your bad habit (in my case having in my phone in my bedroom)
Reduce the craving - how do you really want to feel (in my case not anxious but rested and calm), then think of an action that will achieve that.
Make a negative habit difficult - make it hard to actually perform that bad habit, so in my case I can remove my phone from the bedroom
Uncover the root cause- look at what’s really driving this habit. In my case I realize I check my phone in bed because I don’t want any surprises later in the morning. Especially work related surprises. But doing so doesn't change the fact that those emails will be there AFTER I get up!
Adopt healthy routines - Building good habits boils down to lifestyle choices. I can choose a new routine - to remove my phone from the bedroom and so the temptation to look at it.
Swap a bad habit for a better habit - I can buy a good ol’ alarm clock to use instead of telling myself I need my phone as my alarm clock. Temptation eliminated!
Build intrinsic motivation - by believing I am free to choose how I want to act and that changing this habit will be better for me. And I can measure my progress too. I can make a note in my journal everyday I succeed, and give myself a fun reward for that. Woohoo!!.
Please feel free to share an experience you have had or are having around forming or breaking a habit.
🧡 I'd love for you to share
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